Girlfriend's Dad Saga

Part 1: Lost to History – if you have this, email me at dakerostories@gmail.com

Part 2: The Return of Dakero
AccountThirty
Posted 8/28/2007 11:14:12 AM
message detail Some of you remember my topic yesterday about my girlfriend's Veteran dad giving me crap just because I am not a pro-war military nut. You can read about it here.

http://boards.gamefaqs.com/gfaqs/genmessage.php?board=400&topic=37820739

Basically, my girlfriend called me up last night and told me that her dad told her that she can't see me anymore. Naturally, she's ignoring his wishes, but it's total BS that he's actually overstepping his place in line and trying to dictate who she can and can not see. I do not believe in this type of overpowering controlling horse **** and I intended to do something about it.

Later that day, my girlfriend's dad got a call.

Girflriend's Dad: Hello?

Account Thirty: You know who this is, I'm not identifying myself over a possibly tracked line.

Girlfriend's Dad: What do you want?

Account Thirty: Stay the **** out of your daughter and my woman's business. We care about each other, and you aren't going to come between us.

Girlfriend's Dad: Just set foot in my house again, punk. I'll ring you out to dry. I've seen your kind before, just out to get into my little girl's pants. Well, it's not gonna happen this time, mister.

Account Thirty: Yeah well, it's a little too late for that.

Girlfriend's Dad: What did you say?!

Account Thirty: If you hang up this phone...I will kill you.

I pulled the bolt back on a rifle I had with me. The most intimidating sound in the world to a Veteran like him. He knew exactly what it meant, I could tell his blood froze cold. He knew he was in my scope.

Account Thirty: Just keep in mind...I can do this again any time I like...*Click*

Girlfriend's Dad: Hello? Hello?! Hello?!?!?

Hopefully this puts enough of a scare through him that he leaves us alone. LoL, I wasn't actually outside his house or anything, I was just sitting in my living room. I just knew it would scare him if he thought he was in my crosshairs. But, that'll teach him for nosing into our affairs.

Part 3: Nail in the Coffin
AccountThirty
Posted 8/29/2007 11:21:54 AM
message detail Some of you remember the topic about how my girlfriend's dad has been harrassing me for dating her and not being a religious freak (she is not even religious) and not being a pro-war nut. I warned him to back off, and he stood his ground against me. Must be his past as a Veteran, which I can respect because he actually fought in the Vietnam war. Fighting in canopy jungles is very different than fighting in the desert. It was just him and Charlie, all he had was an M16, not a tank. Eyeball to eyeball. But, still, the way he speaks up to me? I don't approve of that. You can read about it here.

http://boards.gamefaqs.com/gfaqs/genmessage.php?board=400&topic=37847210

So I decided to put the final nail in the coffin, show him what's mine and pwn him for good. Basically, the last time I was in his house (he wasn't home, my girlfriend just needed to pick something up), I replaced the disc in a DVD box he had out with a disc of my own. It was one sitting around his room, so I knew he was watching it often. Well, when he popped it in to watch this time, he got a little surprise.

On the disc, was a burned message from me to him, personalized in every way. It started with a little monologue describing our situation.


Account Thirty: Hey old man, I guess this isn't what you were planning on watching, huh? Well, you aren't gonna want to miss this one either. See, I've decided to let you know who's really in charge here, who's calling the shots. It's cool if you want to pretend to be an authority figure around your little girl, or whatever, but just keep in mind what your place is, alright? Your little girl really likes me...I'm about to show you how much.

I hid the web cam behind a plant, and from there five minutes later I let his daughter come in. I made sure that it was at just the right level to watch my bed perfectly. We started making out, and then....LoL, it got a lot more graphic. Basically, it was a 40 minute video of me banging daddy's little girl from all angles. I even made sure she was wearing a camouflaged hat that said "Army Strong" on the front of it.

So now, he knows who I am, and what I am in his life. And if he doesn't like it, what's he going to do about it, LOL!?!?!? If he tries to break us up, his little girl will hate him even more. I've completely and utterly destroyed him, and I love it.

Part 4: Return of the Punks
AccountThirty
Posted 8/30/2007 11:34:51 AM
message detail Many of you remember my topics from last week about my girlfriend's dad who does not like/approve of me because I do not support the troops. He put a "SUPPORT OUR TROOPS" bumper sticker on my car when I wasn't looking, and even has tried to mess with me further. I put anti-war stickers all over his car as a counter attack, and then I sent him a dirty video of his daughter. Well, I thought pwning him like that would keep him out of my hair, but over the weekend I ran into some trouble.

I was driving over to a friend's house, and I noticed a car was following me. Since I picked up a tail I decided to detour from my normal route, so I wouldn't lead them to my friend's I watched them in my rear view for about two miles before I decided I'd lead them out to the desert and take care of them there. That was when I got careless. They must have been working in two teams, because a Hummer came out of nowhere and side swiped me off the road. I got into a huge wreck and was knocked unconscious. When I woke up, I was in a dark room with four punks surrounding me, and water dripping off my face. I assume they revived me for what was to come.

Punk # 1: Well well, if it isn't the Great Account Thirty...

Punk #2: We heard a lot about you, chump. Even before the 'ol man sicced us on you.

Punk #1: Shut up, you fool! He's not stupid, he'll put things together.

Punk #3: We're gonna waste him anyway, what difference does it make?

Punk #4: Quenton's right, we gotta be careful, this guy's done lots of our kind in before.

The man named Quenton: Alright, Mr. Account Thirty, now that we've got your attention I guess its only appropriate I introduce you to the team. My name's Quenton, my pal here is Max, Flint, and Sergei. 'Course, that's not our real names. I'm a former Green Beret, my boys Max and Flint here are Army boys on leave, only Sergei's here foreign. He's ex-KGB, so he's not gonna go near you till the end. While me and Sergei are takin' a smoke break, Max and Flint are gonna get acquainted with you. Then the real fun begins. I just got one question before I leave. You want to die before, or after the old man gets here?

Account Thirty: I'll die...after I kill you....

He punched me stiff across the jaw. Then the two more dangerous ones left the room leaving me to the pissants. I watched them with a stone cold poker face as they both started to work me over with baseball bats, beating me with them until I was a blood mess laying on the floor tied to a chair. At one point they crashed the bat into my nose. Blood was everywhere. I had been completely disarmed, except for a pocket multiool I hid up my sleeve where the average **** wouldn't think to look. I was doing my best to cut away at the ropes fastening my wrists, but they had already broken four my ribs. I needed to distract them.

Account Thirty: Don't either of you punks have what it takes to face me on your own?

Max: Shut the **** up, man!!

Flint: Wish I had some one on one time with you, little punk. You're not as tough as you look, what is he? 5'6''? ****ing shrimp.

Account Thirty: I'd take both you punks on at once if my wrists weren't fastened.

Max: Man, I am gonna knock those teeth down the back of your throat, you keep yer yappin'.....

Account Thirty: Yeah yeah, say it to my face, punk!

He stepped right up to me, face to face with me completely confident and about to open his mouth again. Before he could speak a word I swung my right hand around, now freed from the ropes, plunging the multitool's small knife into his throat severing his carotid artery. He started gurgling on blood automatically before he hit the ground. His friend stared in disbelief as I rose from the seat with a bloodthirsty smirk on my face.

Account Thirty: How 'bout that one on one you wanted, tough guy??
AccountThirty
Posted 8/30/2007 11:35:05 AM
message detail He raised his bat over his head, more out of fear than anything else. I ran forward with his arms raised and interlocked my arm behind his, pulling it in an awkward angle and snapping it. As he hit the ground I broke his neck in the same way, silencing him immediately. Unfortuanatly neither of them had any weapons other than the baseball bat and if either of the remaining two had a gun I was ****ed. I waited by the doorway for my chance. Five minutes of silence later, the door opened.

Quenton: What the hell is taking you boys so long? What's...going on...here.....

He only saw what happened for a second before my bat colleded with his face at full force, either killing him or knocking him unconscious. I didn't have time to check, the KGB gorilla was right behind him and I just now got to notice how large this guy was. He stood 6'5'' and was very broad shouldered, I'm only 5'7''. I froze in fear of this behemoth, before rushing him with the bat and swinging it at him. I hit him square in the jaw and he staggered a bit before turning to face me again.

Sergei: ***** American...

He spat a mouth full of blood and a couple teeth into my face distracting me long enough to strip the bat from my hands. He grabbed me throwing me onto a counter, dragging me over the miscelanneous junk that littered it and running my face directly through dry wall. Blood was everywhere. He worked me over with a flurry of well timed and powerful punches, mostly aimed at my face completely dazing me. He spun me around pounding both fists into my kidneys, then grabbed me spinning around again and proceeded to slam his forehead into my face. Picking up my limp and nearly broken body, he lifted me into a military press and hurled me into a dusty old china cabinet breaking through it upon impact. I got up taking a broken plate and trying to slice for his throat, but he grabbed my arm, veered me around and sent me face first into a table. I stumbled back into the kitchen and out of desperation yanked a drawer out of it's slot clattering a bunch of old knives to the ground. I picked up the two largest knives I could find.

Account Thirty: C'mon you ****ing....you ****ing...I'm ready...I c'n take you...you....

He rushed me, with a confident grin across his face. No doubt he was just having fun up until this point, but in his confidence he telegraphed the wide overhand punch he threw, giving me time to duck and plunge one of the knives through his boot, foot, and into the floor board below. He bellowed in pain. I stuck the other knife into the same leg's thigh, and then gave him a solid roundhouse to the leg, bringing him to his knees. With my target (his head) now lowered, I punched him twice across the jaw as hard as I could, then followed with a roundhouse packing everything I had behind it straight into his jaw, snapping his neck. The behemoth fell over, devoid of any life.

I took a moment to recollect myself, I was seeing red. The raging killer inside me was receeding. After the adrenaline rush ended, I hobbled over to the dead Green Beret and removed his cell phone from his pocket. Hitting redial, I knew who's voice I was going to hear on the other line.

Girlfriend's Dad: Hello? Did you take care of it?

Account Thirty: Your men are dead. I'm coming for you next, Norman. *click*

Girlfriend's Dad: Hello...? Hello....?? Hello!?!?!?

I limped outside with the keys to the hummer and started the engine up. I had a long way home.

Part 5: Church Showdown
AccountThirty
Posted 8/31/2007 11:44:41 AM
message detail Some of you remember my topic about what happened yesterday. My girlfriend's dad who does not approve of me because I am not a war fanatic sicked his thugs on me. I had to kill my way out of an interrogation shack in the middle of the desert and now, after suffering massive blood loss and several broken ribs I had to get to the root of the problem. I had to get rid of my girlfriend's dad before he managed to strike another retaliation. I called him a phone and let him know that he was a dead man walking.

Because he knew I was driving back into town, I knew he would be at his local church having his last rites read off to him. I didn't have any weapons on me, but the Hummer I stole from my captures was well equipped with a stockpile of .9mm ammunition and a couple grenades. I managed to pull a Beretta off of the thugs who tried to get the better of me. All he succeeded in doing was arming me and pissing me off. I got back into town around 7:00 or 8:00.

I drove through the parking lot of the church headed for the front doors. At that point I punched it, slamming my foot on the gas and sending the all terrain vehicle crashing through the front doors, the aisleways of the church. I knew it would be mostly empty it was too late. I crashed the front of the vehicle into a confessional booth, and I could see the old man about 30 feet away with two armed thugs, and a priest. The priest looked completely baffled, he came running to the car. I got out the passenger side using the vehicle as cover. He came around the back of it confronting me with more courage than the armed man, yelling at the top of his lungs.

Priest: Take your violence elsewhere!!!! This is a place of GOD!!! How DARE you bring your chaos into a house of GOD!!!!

Without hesitation I punched the Priest across the jaw as hard as I could, spinning his body a full 180. The priest was a good man, but my life was more important at the time. Using his limp body in a choke hold I used him as a human shield as I opened fire on the two thugs who had reached for their guns and returned fire. His body soaked up the return fire like a sponge while I executed both of the grunts with a killer's accuracy. The old man fled up a flight of stairs.

Account Thirty: Norman!!!! There's hell to pay, Norman!!! Hell to PAY!!!!

I chased after him still holding onto my human shield. Around a pillar, a concealed gunman emerged with a shotgun getting the jump on me. A solid blast hit the priest square in the chest, the kinetic transfer knocking both of us off our feet. I desperately rolled his body off of mine as I heard the pump action of the shotgun loading a fresh round into the chamber. In one fluid motion of pure muscle memory and thoughtlessness I pulled my boot knife from under my pant leg and hurled it forward embedding it between his eyes. The man fell dead.

I limped up the stairs calling towards my victim, already he had made me kill more than I had wanted to.

Account Thirty: Norman!!!!! Norman!!!!! I do this for a living, Norman!! I DO this for a LIVING!!!!!
---
That wonderful smile is gone for eternity.
AccountThirty
Posted 8/31/2007 11:44:52 AM
message detail The mixture of blood loss and pain from my broken ribs had gotten to me, as I reached the top of the stairs I was distracted by the colorful window pain that greeted me. Norman was waiting for me atop another flight of stairs and with the custom built Browning Hi-Power he fired one shot that he was crouched waiting for. The round hit my face, knocking me to the ground and sending the Beretta clattering out of reach. I fell on my back unmoving. As Norman came down from the flight of stairs to confirm the kill, he lowered his weapon. Coming to a knee to inspect, he saw the most shocking sight of his very short lived life. In my right eye socket was the hallow remains of a fiberglass fake eye which had succeeded in richocheting the bullet out of harm's way. I quit playing possom and slapped the Browning Hi-Power out of his hand. He reached for a combat knife sheathed over his hip and drew it, cutting me quickly. I punched him hard in the nose, shattering it upon impact. Blood was everywhere.

While he was stunned I grabbed a grenade I obtained from the Hummer, taking it off my blet and pulling the pin. I stuffed it into his jacket pocket and used a push kick to kick him away from me, as well as spring me backwards threw the window pain falling to the street. As I fell from the window I saw a massive explosion envelope the skies above me, followed by a rain storm of colored glass. The roof of a Honda Accord broke my fall.

I limped off of the roof of the Honda Accord and hotwired the vehicle. Finally, I could live my life in peace, finally my enemy was dead. After killing ridding myself of a vile enemy, I drove back home to have sex with his daughter. I am going to have to lay low for a while.