Church Confessional

October, 2007
I tried to go to a confession over the weekend and the Priest told me to get out

I have never been a very religious person. I've always tried to cast aside the dogmatic guide lines of modern religion, and be what I define is a good person, with the wisdom that I have acquired. But a lot of things lately have made me question my own spirituality. How I should act. I suppose that I've made some mistakes, done some "bad" things in the past. So this weekend I saught "retribution".

It doesn't come easy. I went to the closest church to my house. I didn't see a no weapons sign so I decided to go in strapped anyway. You never know when heat could come down. I went into the confession booth, and decided to sing.

Priest: What have you to confess today, my son?

Dakero: I've done a hell of a lot of bad things, Father. I've never been the religious type, but I guess it's time I make apologies for some of the stuff I've done.

Priest: What evils have you confessed?

Dakero: Just last week I beat the **** out of some vet because I refused to salute this American flag he had out front. I banged his girlfriend right after and haven't called her since. Before that, I jumped a dude, was on leave visiting his family, but I warned him not to come here again. This chick who's engaged, I've been having all kinds of sex with her cause she's not really sure of the marriage. Uhh, there's a bunch of other stuff, but I don't know if you want to sit here and hear about it all. Some of it I'm not really allowed to talk about.

Priest: My God, man...is this some kind of a joke? WHy do you have such animosity towards the men defending our freedom? I was a soldier in my time...

Dakero: Oh great, a bias Priest. Look, father, I came here to be absolved, not further judged. I admit that I sort of feel bad about some of that stuff, and I want you to do your thing. My personal opinions don't have anything to do with this.

Priest: I won't absolve an abomination such as you.

He got out of his booth and opened my door, grabbed me by my shirt collar and pulled me out. I was surpirsed at his bravery/stupidity.

Priest: The men and women are sacrificing their lives to do God's will, and YOU would make a mockery of them?!?!

Laying his hands on me was one thing, but now he was giving me a political speech I didn't agree with. I grabbed both his wrists and snapped them back releasing his grip from me. I pulled him in close kneeing him in the stomach taking the breath out of him. A few of the people watching were shocked, and ran away in free. Grabbing him by the back I slammed him into the confessional booth breaking through the wood, then dragged him out and slammed his face into a tray of holy water. Holy water was everywhere. I left him in a crumpled mess at my feet, disgusted with him. If they don't want to forgive me, then they're elitists. I came in piece, and he assaulted me. What I did was pure self defense, I didn't even use my weapon (like I should have).

That is the last time I give that a chance.